Category Archives: proza

prose, proza, Uncategorized

I think I had enough. THIS IS NOT A STORY. TRUE EVENTS. UNFORTUNATELY. FOR THOSE WHOM IT MAY CONCERNED, PLEASE READ AND COMMENT.

I think I had enough. THIS IS NOT A STORY. TRUE EVENTS. UNFORTUNATELY. FOR THOSE WHOM IT MAY CONCERNED, PLEASE READ AND COMMENT.

Bearing in mind all my experience and wearing this letter in my mind, I knew not how to answer properly and logically on the issue I have to put, because the questions are logical, yes and yet, it seems that they are not. Or it is hard to explain without writing an essay which I am doing since I cannot leave Serbia in an instant. If the situation with gym trainers is not as with therapeusts in this hell of the „country“ or if they are not, but some of them are, in the need of the same, after all I have experienced in gym, I would check it out for an anger management!

In addition and at the begginning I have to apologize if I will put many informations creating confusion, but I hope you can follow me reading this.
Specifically, I’m trying for two years to persist in the struggle with something that I do not even understand… this is so weird and surreal… which is the question or an issue (I am really trying to transfer the meaning as much as I can) It has to do with G trainers, more precise with their behavior, or more so I wonder how they managed to come to these “titles” – and they are the owners and trainers of the Serbian gyms. On behalf of that, I wrote a story Boris K. and the gym. From the behavior and conversations and through experience with the, let’s call them so called – gym coaches, I am finding out that

1. Either they do not like their job 2. Or they are behaving strangely, to put it mildly, types look down, do not show their clients who are not paying over 100 euros how they should be working on the devices, or they often interrupt training: I apologize, but go down from the device, I have individual training … or they found the devices far more important than the client, as some of them patrol constantly around the devices with an obsessive compulsive cleaning… hindering me in my training, and all that with a confrontational tone. In a country overrun with poverty their goal is to collect an obscene amounts of money for something that they can not even, nor provide in turn, and that’s coaching the client without the ill-treatment of the same.
This experience dates back a very long time, at first my towel was problematic, then one went around me and scolded me, saying not to damage the device ??? because I was sweating in the gym too much for the good taste… wearing tha mask from the Hygienist…(???), and that is the not so important, but so „fancy“ gym on nevermindwhatplace.

One so called the „posh“ coach looked at me, he seemed surprised when I asked him random questions and he said with his rural, not so well hidden accent: before I answer you anything or you sit down, read the price list.
Later I learned that this fancy coach is very much in the hands of steroids.
So, there are gyms and they are very well equipped, but in wrong hands, with the wrong way…, with astronomical prices, making little but „clever“ problems with all that „mind over matter“ quotes and stuffs.. to the individual who does not pay the individual training of over 100 euros.

If I hadmoney, I would not give them the pittance, because they do not deserve nothing, they do not have the knowledge or culture, or anything, they are not real sportists, they are just well fed with euro – pasta) They make you feel bad enough because you pay only! regular membership fee, which is not cheap at all.. on the contrary. And if you don’t pay they will make you those little obstacles, not looking at you, interrupting you, so one should very quickly give up

Then something happened, for Serbia unexpectedly. Serbian representative in bodybuilding opened a gym in New Belgrade, the price was acceptable. I had a female couch. In two she took off some excess pounds from my body and did an amazing job. My metabolism went nuts, and every day I lost 1 kilogram, in addition I practiced to home alone, had a lot of energy, was motivated by watching how my body changed and I could not believe the transformation that I have experienced both physically and psychologically.
Two years ago I was on every day diet regime, trained very powerful workouts at home. Before getting ready for a marathon, the landlady threw me out of the apartment in a rural town on the outskirts of Belgrade where they do not have a decent gym, not to mention the trainers, nor running path, a bus trip took at least two and a half hours, to arrive to the centre….

I’m looking for a coach the entire 2014 and 2015 and after a horrible experience with one inexperienced coach who told me I was in climax in my 37, I came across the add pasted on a street pole. The „gym“ was situated inside the very modern gym, that gym with obsessive compulsive cleanears wearing V for Vendetta Hygienist masks and evil spoken speaker to the practitioner who pay less than 100 euros

Tonight I was shocked by the „conversation“ and the questions set up and that.. you name it.. would require a special version if the translation which I am not capable for. In short, I immediately realized that the person is not professional, nor the coach, she doesn’t look like a couch at all and almost asking me for an advice on how to lose weight herself with all one thing repeating: alas, god .. so how do you do that? But very cynical, mixed with the spicy way of putting the questions like someone who is curious but still raises questions, as if I was the coach, not her: : „Oh, how remarkable that is.. just relax.. it is only psychological problem! (???) But I never find anyone who was entering less calories as you did still having so much energy… , ie under basical methabolism.. you know what is it, dear?“

… At first I noticed her ignorance regarding the work on the treadmill, and that she does not differ miles of kilometers more than an asphalt from the treadmill . I asked if I could have her try her program but to use the treadmill, too *that one obsessively cleaned up!, but said „Oh yes, but it needs an additional charges and prices… above all.. your organism will see.. (???)
Also, she said that my diet was horrible (I’m sure that she will benefit from it because I have sent it to her but if it helps to some poor dear who will be her client, I don’t regret of doing so, except she will present it of course as her „tesla sportslike patent“) Then she asked whi recommended such horrible diet: I said: Serbian champion in bodybuilding and his spouse, a coach of the month which now lives and works in NYC.

Then that „coach of all coaches“, to get back to the topic, who has her own team, with pretty coreographs, drinking coffee, and singing songs, some twisted version of Jehova witnesses a la Gym version, her fb group, who operates in the context of this gym with which I have aboveforementioned “wonderful” experience and at first glance there is no reason that I haven’t tried to contact her or any trainer, once more… she said that there is another option: „You see, you can run in nature because it is healthy (for this I have no comment, since I was preparing for the marathon ..) Also, you can pay cardio and working with dumbells in the Gym!“ (that obsessive cleaning hygienistic… . I think I said it a couple a times before…)

My mother told me to be patient, we will again try to get stepper, perhaps some dumbbells, still to do at home and to continue, and I said: „I haven’t trained for a while… maybe a year… I need someone who will push me a bit, at least to avoid to get hurt..“
The problem is that I was, during those two years taught myself a certain way of life that I do not want to change, but it is very difficult after such a long interruption of training just to do everything alone, without any assistance.
I start, than I stop…
The easiest way to lose weight in the gym, but it takes a professional to help in this, and this does not exist here.

(In this letter – essay the theft and attempts of raising the payments after a while and stealing my shirt for the training, for which I have long saved money to buy it, stolen by the “fancy” trainer, all excluded)

So, once more into the battle, I recalled a nice guy from a gym in New Belgrade. I was working with him, but I was forced to move… In USA people are moving constantly, I know that, because my aunt Suhair is moving constantly, my uncle Labib did it I think two times… but in Serbia this is a shame and a disgrace!)

Also, I have to stress this, an exercise is very important to me. It is not a question of just about having an athletic body, but also about the connection of body and spirit. Some “runners’ high” feeling after the great workout!
So, to finish this sob story, I called the number and I heard a male voice with the accent of Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein:

“ Whooo? Ooo, heeee! He is not working here anymore. He is in retirement”
I think I can handle with this gentlemen.
Could you?
But I think I had enough.

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aphorism, proza

UNEDITED THOUGHTS, from the book “The Pigs Have Flown, now what?”, Leila Samarrai, 2014

Never trust a poet who can’t use his swears properly.
In poetry, never argue with your ex lovers.

The poem is an universal message of the exquisite selection of the separation of the vanity.

The true poet is capable to put the whole universe in his poem or sometimes even in just one single verse.

The best literature and the purpose of art is the survival of the human race.

Art is a game. Poetry is a game. At the end of the day, either
you know how to play or not…

A tip for a writer during the creation of a masterpiece:
Turn off your brain and write.

In poetry, always open your heart. There is no poetry without a bloodshed.

The consequences of the global climate change: After the rain sun does not come anymore.

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proza

I a lonely stalk, Leila Samarrai

I persistently graze words
Day and night
First I seek them
Recognize them even among lizards
Who announce misfortune
And even though they are vainly
You want time and roads
And blue circles above the wellsprings of rapid rivers

You children of moonlight
I a lonely stalk
You memorized colors
You poets, which I am yet not

I the amorous Pan
Not knowing how to say wasteland on your language
Marked to sing I yearn for East
Where I could burn myself
And turn into a star
Like Quetzalcoatl

(If I could only sway
for a moment
not even music is necessary)

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proza

A question… (?)

Hello, my dear fellow writers and readers,

First of all, thank you for your attention regards of my two Kat – poems. I put it twice on my blog, because there is  Version 1 of the “kitty poem” and  Version 2.

If it is confusing for you, or maybe someone amongst you  thinks I put it twice by mistake or it looks like a mistake almost because they are so similar… I would ask you to pick the version you prefer (I labeled them “Version 1” and “Version 2”..   also, I would be grateful if you would tell me why you chose that particular version.

Thank you in advance,

Leila S.

 

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poetry, proza

a thousand ways in which my father died

Some say that my father died …
beside the Tigris, mighty, silent, mysterious.
Witnesses say that his body protruded
from the liquid hot sand,
his face was a mask, a misleadingly golden hue
in the never setting sun.
Others say that my father resurrected.
One can see him stumbling down the deserted streets
wearing the dark sunglasses
escorted by combat Hummers from machine-gun turrets,
escorted by easy -on -the -trigger -boys

(What a lie! BANG BANG! BUM BUM!)

Legend tells my father died
when the huge Erbas E300 Air France crashed into the Atlantic ocean, the most modern aircraft and the pride of the French company.
The ocean whispers he never flew by plane.
Somewhere in the background I can hear their booming voices: He died dressed in a camouflage uniform of the Iraqi Revolutionary Guard with a glint of the sun on the epaulettes.
He still had a desire to live; at least until the moment he pounces his plane on a selected target and joins the virgins in Paradise.
But the witnesses do swear that he, a martyr – suicide, casually pulled the plug to open the cabin, once, twice, three …
“Damn bastard” – he thought at the time – “Again, there is no electricity! It must be that the fuse under the dash burnt out
once again. The last one we had.“

(Can you imagine that?)

An aircraft runway in front of him has become heated,Bsand around it shimmers with a bluish light.  Across the sky dark clouds began to spring.
There are rumors he went mad before his death.
He saw the figure of an old woman dressed in mourning dress at the site of the automatic pilot, a contrast to her unreal pale face, as if she were immersed in water for days.
He froze in horror while she was silently watching him with empty eye sockets.
“Open the box.” – She said, this time it was a deep voice without emotion. “There’s a picture inside.“
A few seconds later,
scorched dismembered parts of human bodies were scattered miles around. Tormented by madness he died in hysteria, alternately he laughing and shaking with fear

(This is catchy, I give them that!)

In unison voices, they baptized their Gentleman testifying before the global audience:
there was a body of a child, it sailed to the surface,
there was an intact body of a wrinkled old woman with eyes closed, as if asleep, her face pale almost white, her hands turned blue from the water. Beside the corpses swam a black box.
There was a picture inside.
The old lady was me.
The picture was mine.
(I do not know even what to say..
What an imagination!)
They say my father blew himself up with a bomb somewhere, beside the Tigris, mighty, mighty, silent, silent–
mysterious–
Oh so mysterious,
witnesses say that his body protruded from the liquid hot sand, his face was a mask a misleadingly golden hue.
After all, who cares if the bastard died?
You see..
I believe none these stories, do you Father?
You Father, you murderer, you Father, you murderer.
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proza, Uncategorized

The Dark Mozart, Leila Samarrai

quote-every-great-work-of-art-has-two-faces-one-towards-its-own-time-and-one-towards-future-daniel-barenboim-52-37-78

 

Mozart is considered to be the composer of the airy, cheerful tones, summer energy that cleans the darkness of the human soul and leaves behind a patchwork, cheerfulness, enthusiasm and trembling lightness of being.
However, with careful analysis of some of his “happiest” composition, we discover a new face, namely, the reverse side of the ingenious composer. We remember the mask in “Amadeus” by director Milos Forman, when Mozart wears a mask with two faces. One is smiling, and the other is sad and gloomy. Just as are his compositions.
In music theory, major scales are characterized by cheerfulness, while the minor is characterized by sadness. By careful analysis of some of Mozart’s most famous works, we will find his indispensable commitment to the modulations (Transitioning from one tonality to another) from the dmajor to minor, and rarely the other way around, which is specific to him in relation to other composers.
(Example: Sonata for Piano no 16 in C major, KV 309, 1. movement, allegro con spirito)
Or else, it happens that the main topic, in one of its next repetition, decorating by sharps or flat, is transformed into a mole. So he doesn’t make the whole modulation, but introduces two or three musical changes (alterations), which leads to the minor overtone, while not fully modulated. These are the only sequences of a pair of measures.
Mozart is prone to deceive his listeners, giving them the illusion of absolute availability, and in fact most of his “joyous composition” favors the sadness
Take, for example, the Mass in C Minor, it definitely not wild with hilarity. In one sequence, when the soprano “performs” its part when saying “eleison” as a word from the text of the Mass, he does a lot of experimenting with soprano threading it through multiple octaves. Chorus is adhering to the “height” and is a stable soprano accompaniment. This is an extremely melancholic composition.
In the composition, W.A. Mozart Konzert Fur Zwei pianos and orchestra №10 Es-Dur (KV 365) he also seduces his listener, causing him to think he was on the road of happiness and enlightenment in order to introduce a duel of two pianos with minor characteristics, annulling the previous semblance of humor.
Sonata in A Major has six variations, each of which carries a burden of sadness in it. This is one of his bleakest sonata, although when it comes to Mozart one never knows, because when you listen to the most cheerful peace, it can bear the greatest sorrow in it.
Mozart is “the dark composer”, a prelude to Beethoven, the composer of the mask that, in the end, he took off in his monumental work “Requiem”.

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