dramma, horror, mathilde, prose, samarrai

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter Three, THE SHAITAN HORSE, part 2, The Old Woman of the Dead

With this chapter, titled “The Shaitan Horse”, I will temporarily pause sharing the material from the book of Mathilde which is currently being translated. I hope that the introductory passages piqued your interest. Mathilde will soon be available on Amazon. You will be notified in due time. Thank you for reading.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter One, A TALE OF ORIAN VON AMERONGEN

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter Two, THE HÄSSE CASTLE

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter Three, THE SHAITAN HORSE

***

I looked at him with bloodlust in my eyes, but I did not erase the wolfish smile off my face, quite the contrary, I grinned all the harder.

– You see, Olof… The architecture I am inclined to lately is a strict and monumental one. Vast wall structures are without a single opening. Soon I will wall off all those tiny light windows through which you’re looking.

He gave me a funny look. – By the by, where is thy lady? She was here a moment ago – he took a good long look around him. She was here all along, right next to the two of us, silent like a shadow, peaceful like a sword resting in the sheathe. She seemed as if she were surpressing laughter.

A frightening silence suddenly fell upon the castle.

“Approach, Olaf!”, I yelled for a serf. His shoulders shivered.

“Here I come to my master to obey his command!”, he dared not look at me.

“You see, Olof, how faithful my serf Olaf is to me? If the king would weep, he would weep along with him. If the king died, there Olaf would be howling for him, such is the love of serflings of Hässe to its ruler. Is this not so?”, I embraced my serf. His lips were quivering, and teeth aclatter. “I re-reckon it’s cuh-cold, Guard, let me get the fire going.”

“I want you to take us through the secret door”, I gave off a bloodlust-laden grin and took a good long look at the hump under his tunic. “Look at him, Olof. Is he not like a statue which speaks? Good old Roman Pasquino , a damaged sculpture, of course, but well spoken, because when it hears the vile tongues say ‘Even Amerongen can’t reign forever’ – a prideful look on his face – Olaf would cuss and say ‘Let me find the coward in the shadows! And if I don’t find him, you, master, will blow into him the icy breath of death and the bastard will fall only because he wanted my master to die.’”

Olof raised his eyebrows and said “Incredible.”

“Brave lad” – I patted the serf on the hump under the tunic which stuck out a bit crookedly. “You do not fear the secret door?”

Olaf rose the steel chin to me, grinned and revealed a severe lack of dentures: “I am loyal, milord. My name is Olaf and all live long day I eat and drink profusely and in the name of my prince I would…” He was deep in thought for a while. I waited patiently enjoying the whole thing. Something almost like a thought sparked in his pupil. “I can do this. I can go through the secret door. I will be the guide. I have heard that master Olof is going sightseeing.”

“And if the doors are sealed?”, I laughed.

“I will knock them down with my head.”

“Is he an idiot?” Olof giggled pointing to the wee hunchback. Olaf laughed with him, and his whole face went dark. He clenched his fists. “I will crush the door, here…with these hands!”

“I actually believe you…” – I paid no heed to Olof’s jab – “Peace be upon the kingdom, Olaf.”

”Long live my prince”, Olaf lowered his gaze and knelt before me.

Olof coughed uninterestedly, while strength raged within me.

“Come with me…”, I took a few large steps and stood in front of the secret door

“I don’t see how we can pass.” – Olof wondered. – “Perhaps…”

“Quiet,” I frowned. “I wanted to show you this.”

I stood on a precisely marked spot, which was the Eye of Argus on the mosaic, and used my weight to start up the secret mechanism. The door squeaked creepily, rising upward, while Olof stood in tense expectation – what is on the other side?

His astounded facial expression amused me. He hesitated for a moment or two, and then carefully came after me along the tight pass. He was in the state of complete horror, while we crawled by grotesque gravestones. Soon we arrived at a big room whose stone walls were adorned with a low, narrative relief, similar to Assyrian ones.

There was little to no furniture in the room. Two chairs and an oaken table colored red took up the middle of the room. The table was covered in a pile of parchments and unusual object, one of which was my fancy – shaped by the hands of Mathilde – a miniature replica of the Kraken. The rest of the furniture was colored green, with a figure of a three-headed dragon Buné engraved onto it, as were many other pagan symbols. A fresco was on the wall above the fireplace, a fresco which, according to my instructions, was made by Mathilde. It was an all-black monstrosity, a smirk on her face gnawed to the bone, my protector Yambe-Akka[1], the angel of death.

Not paying attention to an astonished and terrified Olof, in a knightly stance I knelt before her horrific visage.

jambe

Heed my prayer, Yambe-Akka

Habituate my eyes to the blade of vengeance

Let me hold it in my hand

Let my hand not quiver when vengeance recognizes the cause!

Let the bowels howl in fear, bowels of all those

Who wanted you unmade from your way!

 

I got up unladen, breaking the silence reinforced by Olof being quiet.

“Impressive, no?”, I said self-lovingly.

Olof shook from unease, and his face wrinkled.

“I come here to enjoy myself… The room is full of objects which bring me peace” – I paused – “There are all sorts of things here, from Iram, Ubar[2]…”- as I was saying this, I picked up a crooked J-shaped sword from the table, “a cursed Arabian knife”, a gift from Ubar. “Whomsoever has it in his hand, he must…”, I looked at Olof, and his eyes were aflame bloody-red.

“My friend, I see that my dark humor upsets your soul. I’m afraid that I must stop doing that. You’ll lose your appetite,” I mercifully added and pointed to the direction of the spiral staircase.

“They lead all the way to the balcony, and from there on…you’ll see…”

“You surprise me in a horrific way, Orian…Let’s go…”, Olof added nervously. And so, over the balcony, we found ourselves in a hallway, adorned with numerous columns. The end of the hallway was crowned by an arch, made in an Arabic style.

“Down the hallway, keep going straight, you will reach Mathilde’s solar”, I said wickedly.

“Let’s go back”, Olof felt uncomfortable.

“My solar is on the opposite side. We can visit it as well?”

Our conversation was suddenly cut off by a female voice. “Hässe, including the secret passageways, has at least fifty-two rooms. It is a monumental complex, master Olof…”

 

[1] Yambe-Akka or Jabme-akka is a Sami Goddess of the Underworld. Her name means ‘The Old Woman of the Dead’.

[2] Historical lost cities

 

 

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literary diary, prose, satire

JEZEBEL or The etymology of cunt, an extract from Samarrai’s Diary, inspired by Hodor

The etymology of cunt is a matter of debate, but most sources consider that Jezebel, the best bar fly con blotto in the world, never caught cheating on control school exams, with a master’s degree in Old Norse languages, with a doctor’s degree in long distance running – one day, entered a cheap protogermanic bar with confidence, trampling its bandstand with her lucky adidas sneakers.
After she completed her missionary work for the day, she daddles the waitress, ordering two kissing fish.  “Oooon… ttthe.. hhh… house!”, mutters she, fingering the holes in the Old Norse canteen’s table.
Everyone should know there will be something aggro in the air after the famous tit queen enters the bar.
She drinks dusties too, always looking forward to drink oddball liqueurs that no customers ever order.
Two whiskeys later she is starting to sing, “Cheers darls… my kunto'”, going apeshit: con skot kott cot cona kun cuneus cunnus.
Then she goes really ballistic smashing the table with her mighty fist, cursing the schlongs of the best Old Norse knights of the golden grummet, who are hiding the salami, returning from their recovering war – party, honorably descharged.
“I will make scissors of you!”, threatens she. The floor trembles… 

Three tequilas later or five schnapps before, she is smashing everything around letting her knowledge to lead her through centuries, to modern English, sighing ah kotze, kut and kont kutte and the tone of her voice have arisen, yammering cona coño coynte, cunte and queynte canteen kunton, kunton, kunta kunta kunta conte cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, cant…

– Stop it!
(entranced)

– I can’t I barely started I can’t I cant.. mmmm..nnnnn.. I can not!.. I… cant it’s too late I can’t, can’t cant cant cant cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt cunt
cunt      cunt    cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt KOTZE! cunt
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
cunt cunt……………………….
200 pages later: END OF THE CHAPTER.cunt

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dramma, horror, leila, mathilde, prose, samarrai

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter Three, THE SHAITAN HORSE

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter One, A TALE OF ORIAN VON AMERONGEN

Sleeping Mathilde, Chapter Two, THE HÄSSE CASTLE

 

Part One

“It’s hard to maintain friendships under the steep mountains whose sklents they spread like Icarus spreads his wings towards the icy sun in an attempt to touch the gods. Sun-scorched tops delve deep into the soul of the locals of Norrbotten. It’s hard to maintain friendships, because the abyss is indestructible here. Sven Olof, on the other side of Norrbotten, did not fear the trip. His name was described with a wondrous strength of myth.

“As he was riding on his horse across the slope with no discernible fear of any kind, hoarfrost covered the sven’s eyelashes. Cold shades danced on his cheeks long ago burned by the Norrbotten sun. He got off his horse and observed with his beady eyes the eternal chill of Hornavan.

“When I saw him, I left the solar running, crossed bridges that connected the towers, all the way up to the watchtower where I could see him swing under the swipes of the winds. It appeared as if he were supported by the light piercing through his massive body. He turned his face towards me and gave a wide grin, exuding all of his beauty, to me unbearably all too familiar, a mixture of fear and impending doom. We were looking at each other like two misbehaving boys after a dangerous game which they weren’t caught for, sensing Lindworm’s tongue standing between us like a beast, and the Fjalar hill behind it as well as the abyss whose bottom was paved with the crystals of winter. I was looking at the cracked eternal darkness of ice and felt like Olof was included in my thoughts as well. He removed his gloves and looked at me, mouth agape like with a skinned fox.

“He wore a black silk shirt with a laced collar and sleeves covered in multicolor tapes, a velvet robe and a huge cloak which cast even darker shadows on his already darkened face.

“I had rough wool trousers on. Boots, with rolled up top edge, reached up to my knees. Beneath a fine leather tunic, with corduroy edges and embroidered crosses of silk, peeped a collarless linen shirt. I wore an earring made of darkened silver, and a signet ring with a lion paw engraved on it on my hand.”

Orian lifted his hand and had a good long look into the distance. He memorized every detail. He dipped the quill in the inkwell and continued:

“In the inner yard of the castle we were smitten by a gaze of a female eye. It was my beloved wife Mathilde. Beneath the fine smooth plush dress one could make out the cotton and silk edges embroidered with a silver wire. She had a leather hat adorned with pearls on her head. The see-through organdy scarf floated above her head like a halo, and fell back all the way down to her slim waist. A silver filigree earrings with dark river pearls shaped like tears gave her face a particular beauty.

Mathilde and Olof’s eyes crossed paths. It was then that I felt all the weight of an unclear feeling smoldering within me like an unspoken suspicion and a secret unrest  during every single visit of Olaf to the castle. That force of feelings can only be triggered by an injured self-love. Rage grew within me. A cold, suppressed rage. Why was I being silent? Did Olof rule over me with the shackles of friendship?

I pushed the servant away and took Olof’s horse to the stables. Sunlight was following me and casting hot flames onto the unlucky face of the one who neither loved nor was loved. I pulled the horse with one hand. The wind was an enemy to me, a fierce companion who scooped up lumps of earth and with its icy breath threw it in my face.

I pulled on the reins. The horse revved and tried to pull away. I opened the stable door and drove him into the box stall.

What exactly did I see?

A muffled, female laughter in the background.  It was Mathilde thinking Olaf’s remark to be humorous.

No, no doubt that he wants her! I am aware of the fact that this is the last time I’m talking about this, about the misunderstanding, about the kisses that didn’t happen. My gut feels wrinkled up… I heard a murmur and steps of serfs who started genuflecting to Olof. He, as if in his own castle, started walking up the paved trail bounded by oak trees with light steps towards the mistress of the castle, towards Mathilde.

I made my way to the castle entrance. The vile suspicion burned in my heart threatening to crush me.

A vast room of magical beauty stretched well into the castle. It had been an enormous chamber magically lighted by thickly arranged torches. Above the entrance there was a richly done façade with a big window shaped like a horseshoe (a gift from an Indian architect whom I had killed for a bad joke at the dinner table, or for the remark that we serve tasteless meals in Hässe, I’m not sure). Down the hall stretched a row of chambers which flowed one into another. The solar could be reached via stairs from each of them or via the porches and terraces built in the Oriental style, right into the lavish garden of Hässe.

e18e3dc046bf55f6c89f7828575e75ee

From a gelded, richly adorned throne, set at the bottom end of the hall, I would stare at the pane, resting my nude feet on the stone statue of a prostrate lion with a human head. Befitting my dark being’s tastes, the imposing ceiling, supported by a forest of columns, was adorned with complex, dark frescoes. Gigantic tapestries warmed the cruel stone walls. The castle floor, Greek style, was adorned with black and white pebblestone mosaics, and if the observer would take a good detailed look at the painting, he would notice the many-eyed Argus, the All-seeing, surrounded by wolves with their maws agape. My eye did not miss a single solitary detail. It was the temple of my curse, carved in the living flesh of Hässe.  My inner being, my soul, whichever you prefer.

I chiseled the sweet venom of battle into the walls. I invested a lot into paintings. The fresco above the very entrance of the Hall (this was my pet name for the enormous hall of Hässe, a rare architectural jewel in an eerie wasteland of the surrounding nature) was presenting a head of, one would say, a beautiful woman. Eyes full of fright and tears were chiseled into her visage. Opposite to her, at the very end of the Grand hall, the fresco above the throne was presenting the merciful eyes of a man, who bore a scepter in his hand. The fresco was hiding a secret passageway, and the passage hid – mortuary statues. I would often open the secret door as the nobles were engulfed in merriment during feasts, followed by the merry music of the manor minstrel.

– Master Olof – I nervously paced the Hall – I do not recall ever taking you to see the castle. My servants have covered the floors with a new material – I grinned like a wolf, nonchalantly toying with the silver earring in my ear. I was tapping on the floor with my boot, giving the terror a beat. – Approach the throne, master Olof – the boot tapping increased. Olof’s gaze paused with admiration on the walls which were adorned here and there with gelded carvings and unavoidable arabesques.

– Come with me and see the castle, my friend. Delve into my soul, and then we feast – I approached him and put my arm around his shoulder. I caught Olof’s gaze directed at Mathilde’s cross which hung from the stained glass. – You are impressed by the cameos of the pious Mathilde of Essen? I brought it from Cologne as a gift to my god-fearing lady.

– Fascinating… – Olof mumbled. – Really… you built a shrine in the castle, master Orian. Your care for the proper upbringing of lady Mathilde is touching almost as the care for her soul. I thought you would corrupt her with your gods.

to be continued…

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dramma, horror, literary diary, novel, samarrai, short story

FROM THE DIARY OF A MAD WRITER AFTER LOSING A LAWSUIT

Soon it will all be over. Damn them, the reverse optics of my intercranial madness are picking up the pace. I am no longer a woman, but a macroscopic particle. A peg-top. Call me Peg-Top. This I will do so suddenly, so feverishly, and yet so calmly, my hand will not quake. I will lightly lean forward, legs spread to the width of my shoulders, yes… Calm your body. Aim carefully. Pull the trigger. Take a deep breath. Aim, pull, calm…calm…
***
06dbc0bbb0e269be0d40e02f7d1ffcfc
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literarni dnevnici, proza

IZ DNEVNIKA POLUDELOG PISCA NAKON IZGUBLJENE PARNICE

Uskoro će sve biti gotovo. Prokletnici, obrtna optika ludila u mojoj glavi ubrzava. Više nisam žena, nego sam makroskopska čestica. Čigra. Zovite me Čigra. učiniću to tako naglo, tako grozničavo, a opet mirno, ruka mi se neće zatresti. Blago ću se saviti napred, noge u širini ramena, da.. Smiri telo. Naciljaj pažljivo. Povuci obarač. Udahni duboko. Naciljaj, povuci, smiri… Smiri…

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Uncategorized

A Display Painting, dedicated to Sabina Nore

Merchants pass art
Like an abandoned church
Doubled, the painting breaks

Across the Holy place,
A kitschy stall
And up for sale

A yellowed picture of the entire family,
Manipulative and false.

Can Vanity even paint?
Even if so, what does it see

A putrid nest of the Vain man
Will grow old with them
While the blindness smirks
Bribed with applause

A sigh
Follows my eyes
To the death of that morning
To the graveground of art
Where I detoured for a while
To light a candle
For its soul.
An impure cheek
Got entangled with a venal hand

The pallet is dying, the she-painter
Smugly swings (herself) at the canvas
digitally

Too much misery have I seen,
Enough to leave.

I might be Russian already,
Set in the eternal capsule and floating
Towards a Siberia of frozen veins.

The pain need not be replaced with hatred
Nor self-loathing.

The pain need be cast out of oneself,
Cast out by crying,
A stream of tears
Instead of blood.

So that they pour out evenly
In its inexhaustibility.

 

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Uncategorized

A Painting Frame, dedicated to Sabina Nore

I wish to create a poem of paintings
Made more beautiful by the blade of a knife.

A gallery, vast and alight.
Hand-crafted objects
Of massive wood deepen the fear;

Tables with little bows, as if cut from boxes of chocolates.
Canvases framed with frail slats.

Faces are present on the exhibit
The types painted
By the vertically challenged girl-friend of pride:

They bite, they pierce…

They are our nothing,
Like our inhaled breath,
Nothing,
Like the exhaled one,
Nothing,
Loquacious and empty
(with a dislocated shoulder or two)

I wish to create a poem of a craftsman
Who paid for his work to be displayed.
I wish to create a poem of a pigsty
It being a continuation
Of a Salierian fear

I wish to write nicely, picturesquely, of the eyesore,
So much so that you could sense it, touch it,
Yet I cannot, when all is nothing
(you cannot grasp the invisible)
I threw the wasteland on and brought a map
Moving towards Vienna at dusk
Where Mozart used to play,
And now wolves cry and lie in it.

A snake stuck in the crack
Its sweet tongue-fork
While it turned the body of the megalopolis
Into a backwoods middle-of-nowhere.

Overjoyed, the apathetic world
Not gazing at the canvasses
Is showing itself to the world.

Through the pap whose turn it was
The salesman accepts the haggle.

Sad, semi-finished paintings
What has a vain hand done to you
to make it only possible through a poet’s visualization
for you to reach what you could once have been.

I see nothing on you
Other than the shining sea
And the glorious terraces where I can enjoy
The stunning view,
Only illness and death,

As if from a ruin
The defeat reeking of rotting fruit
(and someone had probably bought you as well)

I hid away in the embrace
Of the uncertain eternity,
In a dark, mum world.

I have not heard so much silence on a noisier spot
Nor have I smelled so much darkness
Even in the caverns of my heart
While in the waking nightmare, dreaming,

I was choked by a thing very much alive.

fully-illustrated-stats-envy

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poezija

Slika sa izložbe

https://leilasamarrai.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/ram-za-sliku/

Umetnost zaobilaze trgovci
kao napuštenu crkvu
udvojena slika lomi

preko puta Svetilišta je
kičerajska tezga
na prodaju

Požutela slika cele porodice
manipulativno i lažno

Može li Sujeta uopšte da slika?
Ako i slika, šta vidi

gnjilo gnjezdo Sujetnika
ostariće sa njima
dok se slepilo smeši
podmićeno aplauzom

Uzdah
prati moj pogled
u smrt tog jutra
u groblje umetnosti
u koju sam nakratko zašla
da joj upalim sveću
za dušu..

Nečist obraz
spleo se sa potkupljivom rukom

paleta odumire, slikarka (se)
samozadovoljno nabacuje na platno
digitalno

Previše jada videh,
dovoljno za odlazak

Možda sam već Ruskinja
smeštena u večnu kapsulu i plutam
ka Sibiru zaleđenih vena

Ne treba bol zamenjivati mržnjom
a ni samomržnjom

Bol treba izbaciti iz sebe.
Izbaciti je plačem,
potokom suza
umesto krvi.

Da poteku ravnomerno
u svojoj nepresušnosti

fake

 

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