Boris K. and The Serial Killers, “The Adventures Of Boris K”, Leila Samarrai

Boris K. and The Serial Killers

Boris K. was a good driver. He never had trouble finding a job as a taxi driver for the Republic because in his younger days he drove in Formula One races, though only in amateur competitions sponsored by the Socialists. On one occasion, while lighting a Lucky Strike® cigarette and waiting for riders, he sees two black silhouettes apparating from the dark. They were a man and woman, moving in rhythm and snapping their fingers at exactly the same time, so in sync, their heads appeared conjoined. They ask him for a ride, giving him an unfamiliar address, and Boris K. grudgingly stubs out his cigarette and gets into his cab with the mysterious couple. He puts his hands on the wheel and then looks ahead, focusing on the dashboard where the mobile command center tells him where to go. He peels out into the street, while glancing in the rearview mirror. Puzzled, he watches while the man takes off his cap and the woman opens her Louis Vuitton purse so she can check her lipstick. She opens the tube, revealing a deep violet color, freezes her face, puckers her lips, and begins making circular designs around her nose and face. When she’s done, she turns, revealing her horrific appearance to her man with the spiky hair, à la Hans Holbein, and says:

“Put that cap back on, DAMN you! ”

A second later, she screams:

“I HATE YOU!”

Startled, Boris K. hits a pot hole and bounces off the seat.

Through the mirror, her gaze momentarily meets with Boris K, who quickly but unsuccessfully averts his eyes to avoid her demonic stare.

“But, honey…”

“Don’t you dare try to talk sweet nothings to me! I should have known that for our fifth year together, you would secretly buy a Louis Vuitton purse for another woman…a Venetian no less!”

“There’s no way in hell I would buy her a Louis Vuitton purse!”

He pauses, “think Aschenbach from Death In Venice!”

“Do you swear it was just a knock off?” she stares him down.

“I swear.” He answers.

The woman cries out violently and slaps him, leaving a red stain on his face.

“I’ll give YOU a Death in Venice… Suddenly This Summer!” she yells.

Distracted, Boris K. almost collides with a car coming towards him.

“But you screwed it up. You got it all wrong!” the woman said smugly.

“When I found that purse you had gift wrapped for your lover, I sprinkled anthrax inside the middle pocket so you could watch her die when she opened it!”

The woman laughs demonically as Boris K. feels the seat trembling beneath him.

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“I’m used to your murders,” says the man nonchalantly, as he places his cap back on his head and sinks comfortably into the back seat. The woman looks up and subtly lifts her skirt, giving Boris K. a view of her lacy thong from the mirror. He starts to sweat and averts his gaze once again. The man continues:

“I got over it when you poisoned my dog. I even forgave you for killing my mother. Nothing surprises me anymore. Not even if you slaughtered this taxi driver!”

She smiles at her lover.

“Ah, my dear, you know how it goes…an eye for an eye …

And YOU killed my mother that summer…! ”

“In your house on the Coast of the Cantabrian Sea …” the man finishes her sentence and sighs.

“How romantic that was! We were so happy back then, and now look at us. We’re two murderers in retirement.”

They turn toward each other wistfully.

“We should just live in the grace of the victims we meet on the road coincidentally. No more careful planning… ”

They smile and embrace each other.

Boris K. feels a quick tightening in his chest. He goes pale from the awareness, feeling fearful and dark. He pulls over to the side of the road, worried he might crash. Suddenly everything goes black. When he wakes up, he feels as if he has left his body and is watching everything unfold from above the seats. He sees himself lying on his back, eyes closed, while these two killers bring him back to life.

“I think he had a heart attack!” he hears their excited voices overlapping, as if the sound is emerging from the depths of the sea. They appear disfigured, slowed down and distant.

Slowly, like soul threads being wound back onto a spool, he feels himself returning to his lifeless body. As he comes to, he wipes his hand over his sweat-drenched forehead and murmurs:

“The murder … the murder”

As soon as his blurred vision clears, he looks into the worried faces bending over him.

Their long noses seem to be waving back and forth at him. His eyes widen, and a cry breaks from his throat. Suddenly, he feels the water they’re splashing on his face. Boris K, now completely lucid, jumps up quickly to defend himself, while the man and woman reassure him:

“Don’t be afraid. We were just rewriting our dialogue, “says the man. The woman adds:

“We are writing a series. It’s called THE WINDSHIELD. These are just our scenes, buddy. If all our scenes are as brilliant as these, we’re sure to be a hit!” With that, they all get back in the car and continue to their destination. However, Boris K. is too shaken up to drive and he crashes, thus ending his illustrious career as a taxi driver.

interview, proza

Leila Samarrai: Dobar pisac je onaj koji se ne boji da progovori

http://afirmator.org/leila-samarrai-dobar-pisac-je-onaj-koji-se-ne-boji-da-progovori/

Majstor kratke priče, Leila Samarrai objavljivana je i nagrađivana mlada autorka. Voli da piše, živi za književnost, sanja o tome da, poput američkih pisaca, ima svog menadžera. Inspirisana Montipajdonovcima, Čaplinom, svakodnevnom situacijom u našoj zemlji, stvara britke, šaljive, satirične priče, pune oslobađajućeg jeda i gorčine. Uronite za trenutak u njen svet.

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Šta je zadatak pisca?

Zadatak pisca je da dobro piše i to je sve. Čini mi se da je to udarna teza Josifa Brodskog.

Zašto pišete?

Iz zadovoljstva, i zato što smatram da imam šta da kažem.

Odakle crpite ideje?

Jednostavno je, ja kad lupim šakom o sto, pojavi se duh iz čarobne lampe, pokloni mi se i kaže: „Izvol’te, o Magistra Ludi!“ Tad izrazim svoju želju koja mi istog trena biva ispunjena.

Šta je dobra poezija/umetnost i kako biste definisali pesničko umeće?

Umetnost je igra. Poezija je igra. Na kraju dana, ili znaš da se igraš ili ne…

Šta je za vas dobar pisac?

Dobar pisac je onaj koji se ne boji da progovori; onaj koji diktira umetnost pisane reči. Pisac koji škraba i samo ćuti i kupi hvalospeve nije ništa do dokoni čitalac. Onaj kome pisana reč ističe kroz rane u svet i pada na papir, ne libi se da da i kritiku i hvalu, tome stremi.

Šta je za vas književnost i svrha umetnosti?

Preživljavanje ljudskog roda.

Kako ste došli na ideju da napišete Borisa K („Everest media“, Beograd, 2013)?

U doba apsurdnih događaja u Srbiji, koji idu protiv zdravog razuma, nije bilo teško doći na ideju, da se u duhu Monti Pajtona, pa možda i Čaplina ili NF putnika kroz prostor i vreme, napiše apsurdna satira koja bi reflektovala stvarnost u baba Valentininom ogledalu. Pajtonovske burleske u sprezi sa kafkijanskom atmosferom na šta prvo sugeriše ime junaka, samo su neke od referenci koje grade atmosferu. Zašto kafkijanski? Zato što je Boris K. i pored svojih Džoni Bravo moći samo običan, mali čovek u sofisticiranom točkiću sistema koji melje sofisticirano, ali melje. Džoni Bravo efekat, mišice superheroja su deo komedije apsurda, jer hiperbole koje volim da koristim, ponekad i do krajnjih granica ne bih li išla na ruku apsurdu te ga naglasila, deo su komedije i komedija, da tako kažem, dobija na komičnosti.

Kako je delo nastalo?

Najpre, ako ne uzimamo u obzir naučne teorije o postojanju paralelnih svetova, u Srbiji danas takvoj kakva, nažalost, jeste, primećujemo da je za goli opstanak neretko neophodno da ljudi žive u nekoj vrsti vlastitih univerzuma, što bi Englezi rekli „deluded..“ Kreativniji razviju i do pet i šest uloga… Zar mnogi Minhauzeni ne nađoše utočište u svojim lažima? No, Boris K. nije lažov. On je nešto poput anti-zemlje. Podignut je na nivo univerzalnog junaka koji predstavlja sve ostale i date su mu, autorskom rukom, nesagledive moći, isto onako kako su mu svemoćnom rukom fenomenizacija u alternativnoj republici oduzete… Tako se Boris K. kreće kroz alternativno – istorijske svetove i njegova sudbina se razrešava u jednom SF satiričnom romanu koji je u procesu stvaranja, a sve pri susretu sa vanzemaljcima civilizacije br. 5. No, o tome nekom drugom prilikom…

Možemo li da očekujemo nastavak avantura Borisa K?

Kao neko kome je duža forma prirodan način izražavanja, priznajem da bi to bio veoma lak posao da nije veoma teško nekome kome racionalnost, matematička fokusiranost i dramaturška preciznost nisu jača strana, ali recimo da zahteva vreme da se fabula sklopi, odgovor je sledeći: biće, ideje su na svakom koraku (delim Platonov stav), možda ne tako brzo kao što bih želela. Boris K. nije samo kratka priča, on je sveprisutni avatar i portret nedisciplinovanog, premda dovitljivog kosmopolite. I zahteva samo najbolje sklopljenu fabulu, početak, zaplet, omiljenu mi peripetiju i duhovit rasplet s primesama gorke ironije na račun društva.

Na čemu trenutno radite?

Poput vajara dletom krešem jedan roman sastavljen od isprepletanih pripovesti boreći se za svaku rečenicu. Taj rad ne zahteva preciznost u smislu formirane fabule, on je sam po sebi fantazija po kojoj se budan hoda i mesečari. Roman odgovara mom pripovedačkom senzibilitetu koji se fokusira kako na radnju, tako i na nijansiranje karaktera i ima osobine magijskog realizma, te mi ide od ruke i beskrajno uživam u radu. Nadam se da ću njime ostaviti na dalekom severu, gde je lokacirana radnja, trag u snegu… za buduće naratore istoga žanra (magijske fantastike). Taj žanr oficijelno ne postoji, tačnije nije mu nadenut to ime. Postoji magiski realizam, ali ovo jeste roman iz oblasti magijske fantastike.

Savet mlađim piscima?

Ne idite utabanim stazama. Kršite šablone i setite se da je Kafka bio izuzetno nesiguran u sebe. Smatrao je da ne zna da piše, što je prikrivao histeričnim smehom (neka vrsta kompentzacije za stid) kada su ga prijatelji nagovarali da im naglas čita svoje radove. Takođe, pisao ih je pozno u noć. Ovaj savet ne morate poslušati, ako ste ranoranilac

Razgovor vodila

Tamara Lujak

prose, Uncategorized

Some questions for followers of my blog

LINK: A BIT OF WEIRD PROMOTION OF THE BOOK “THE ADVENTURES OF BORIS K.”

1. There is a fine line between debate and boycott by the publisher dressed in a plaid shirt) which seems pretty illogical and nasty “move”, during the promotion of the book.
The publisher is limiting his “discourse” or his perception of my book “The Advantures Of Boris K. He is focusing his discourse exclusively on daily satire from newspaper colums and Boris K. is far away of that thus showing he doesn’t get the book he chose to publish (free of charge due to its quality) at all.
Also, he is emphasizing that I am someone who is trying to get a big breakthrough in Serbia 🙂 by writing satire but also that this is wrong “move” because I am an unknown writer – which is not true, at least not in Serbia… I am represented in Serbian Wikipedia and I also published a book of poetry, winning the first prize and thus publishing that book of poetry that got reissued (my book of poetry “The Darkness Will Understand” is digitally republished 10 years after her printing debut)
Also, I won some prizes for aphorisms, you can check my literary CV and I am preparing the publishing of the medieval – history – nordic – horror saga etc.
Also, the Publisher asks in public, in the book promotion – Who is going to read your book?
I am putting all this talking because I want to reevaluate my beliefs. Do you, like me, find, the publisher’s behavior strange?
Not to mention a violation of copyright after… In Serbia, it is something like “good morning sunshine”…

2. do you agree that the writer, idest, little me (the one’t that is talking constantly 🙂 managed to pull out promotion of such banality with the point that the artist is not some computed, calculated artisan who will care only how to sneak his hero in some kind of genre “that is not worth it in terms of money and selling” but acts according to his/her instincts? His teasing I need to write horror in accordance with my horror life I can explain only by the fact that I was and I am a victim of mobbing in Serbia, consequently the sequence of events which is long and quite a different story but I will fight for a breakthrough on the foreign market.
3. Boris K, also is a multilayered piece and fantasy satire painted in some sort of subversion criticing society, an absurd fantasy satire with, even, some elements of surrealism. boris-k

4. Do you want to read some Boris K. english – translated stories to make your opinion and impression? I would be glad to hear your opinion.

5. I am sorry for the bad snapshot (recording) Medias are boycotting, generally, all writers who don’t write cheap literature engulfing them with euros. I am also sorry for maybe bad subtitles, made by a Russian who doesn’t know a word of Serbian 🙂 but I am hoping you will manage to understand the point. Thank you.

drama, leila, play, proza, Uncategorized

KNJIGA O DŽEZEBEL, ispitivanje prvookrivljene, odlomak

KNJIGA O DŽEZEBEL

Suđenje se oteglo jer svi čitaju „Mesto očaja i patnje“. Katkad unisono, naglas ponavljaju delove iz autorkine potresne autobiografije u potrazi za faktima. Čak i okrivljeni učestvuju. Niko nije otporan na umetnost. Godine osme suđenja Narod Arabski i Serbski, Škoti i Inglezi, Književnici, Sveštenici, Kurve, Bolesnici, Lezbejke, Invalidi protiv Leile Samarrai.

Ispituje se Džezebel što posta starešinka nad starešinkama, krupnih plavih očiju neutaživog sjaja, otporna na elemente k’o Deneris Targarjen. Vešta u predenju priča i laži, često manipuliše svaku datu situaciju u svoju korist. U realnom životu daleka plemenita pretkinja hadži Alije, kadije iz Foče i još daljnja Mustafe efendije od Muftića.. u svojoj glavi Kraljica od Sidona.

BORIS K: Da preskočimo formalnosti… Okrivljena je sve što je ONA smatrla relevantnim urezala MUŠKI kamen kremenom na vinskom buretu od hrastovine.

Boris K. svojeručno unosi bure. Njegovi pokreti sinhronizovani su sa uzdasima žena u sudnici.

BORIS K: (spušta bure)„ovde piše… (citira) “ma neću bre!“ Na šta se ovo tačno odnosi?

DŽEZEBEL UMESTO ODGOVORA VADI IZ ADIDAS DUKSA KANAPE, PERTLE, NAPOKON I KONOPAC IZ SELJAČKE BUNE POD VOĐSTVOM MATIJE GUPCA. KASNIJE ĆEMO REĆI ODAKLE JOJ I TO. VEZUJE KONOPAC OKO USTA. „Jebo te brat, ja progovoriti neću!“

„Možemo da pročitamo autorkinu knjigu o Džezebel. – češao se po glavi Boris K. Sudijama i porotnicima zacakliše oči. Jeziva Linčova beba – porotnik mrdnu zečjim ušima. „Tu sve piše: i da ste govorili nešto… nešto… o ljubavi. Da ćete je oženiti u Vermontu gde je sve dozvoljeno ukoliko se pored vas propije… naglasivši da se mnogo ljudi oko vas i zbog vas propilo“.

Drugookrivljena Miss Tutsi (videti u Knjizi o Tutsi), vaša kuma, kako je vi zovete dala je vulkanski blagoslov.“

Boris K. se zamisli: Ahm gospode nad vojskama, JOŠ I KONOPAC KORISTI.. a dobro znam da je Muftičeva svojim magičnim sposobnostima ćutala pored 146 turista čitavih 146 sati boravka u dalekosežnoj panorami blistavih šuma nenadmašne lepote. Nije ništa komentarisala. A drveće od limun žute do crvene bogate… Kasnije je promrmljala da joj priroda nije ni do kolena i da se samo hvališe pred njom. Iz ove nećemo izvući ni reč. Ali, mora da ona to… nekako prenosi..

Uspela je da prevede moždane signale u govor koristeći senzore priključene na površinu mozga. Neko ko je izjavio da je „Priroda glupa“ u poseti Novoj Engleskoj dovoljno je pametan za tako nešto“ Boris K. se nakašlja: „Zamolio bih prekid suđenja na 15 munuta ne bih li se posavetovao sa svojim klijentom. U Džezebelinim očima zasjakti demonski sjaj.

proza

Речник бесмисла, аутор Борис K.

Поштовани пр мр др кррр Примомолбићу,

Прилажем уверљивих 25 бланко прича не бих ли добио стално место професора на Философском факултету Феноменопублике (бесмисленијег места нисам могао да се сетим). За ову тему сам се одлзчио будући да њом могу да представим, како себе, тако и своје ставове о животу и савременој литератури болје него што би то урадили философски свеци у вечном јуришу за апсолутном нирваном. Никад, господине, др мр Примомолбићу, нисам могао да схватим да се на тему постојања може другачије дискутовати. Сваки читалац ће из празне шкољке постојања коју нудим применом мог философског система и метода, захватити бисер смисла који ће му грејати душу до последњех уздаха и даха..

Почетак: Прво слово речника
…………………………… 16

25. Крај и последње слово речника

Аутор: Борис К.

Извори: · „Историјат писане речи на празном папиру“, () (1957), Boris K. ·
„Не осећам се као код куће“, (Феноменопубличка библиотека) (1979)
· „Транспарентно, волим те, транспарентно“ (Трансџендер студије) (1946)
· „Зашто отуђење? (École Primaire Socrates et Démosthenes) (333. п.н.е), аутор непознат
“Одсјај ништавила на секири џелата нихилисте” (Henry VIII Sparknotes) ( 1857), Henry VIII · „Писма имагинарном роботу“, Odd Future Urban Cookie Collective College, Lecturers, Belgrade, професори Никоговић и Бесмисленовић
·„Од колевке до калашњикова“, Oд Садама па до гроба, путописи, Удај Хусеин
“Приручник за сепуку”, древни јапански списи

proza, Uncategorized

“The Adventures of Boris K by Leila Samarrai”, LOOK BACK IN LAUGHTER, Aleksandar Novaković

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleksandar_Novakovi%C4%87

DYSTOPIAN ADVENTURES

This collection of thematically and temporally interconnected stories (which would make some readers hastily declare it a novel), published two years ago by „Everest Media“, represents a piece which, due to many of its features, stands out from the contemporary Serbian literary production. There is something, at its core, surprising in the author Leila Samarrai’s approach. While most Serbian authors, be they genre authors or not, tend to follow the „treaded paths“, with the aforementioned authoress you have to, quite literally, “machete” through the jungle of meaning, historical, cultural and pop-cultural references, citations, transrational twists reminiscent of the Monty Python-esque brand of humor and the long-ago relevant bebop jokes which are insistent on nonsense and complete absence of catharsis. Ultimately, comedy, like satire, opposite to tragedy, is turned to anti-catharsis. The authoress’ style also contains traces of Daniil Kharms’ “Incidences”, as well as, obviously (nomenestomen(tion)), a Kafka-esque paranoia, where Boris K. is, just as Josef K., a man stuck in a trial (Victor Pelevin would call it a transition from nothing to nothing), as well as a postmodern coquetting with stereotypes, twisting them, with metatextuality. At times one gets the impression that the average reader, whoever or whatever they might be, needs footnotes to understand some of the authoress’ stories fully. But, is that really necessary and are we, actually, indulging this imaginary reader too much?

TRAGICAHMEDY

If she wanted to, the authoress could have gone the easier route: “premasticate” the prologue, shorten the stories, simplify the characters to the level of stickmen, halve the book and sell it at the stand of, as our Croatian neighbors adequately put it, a pimped-out publisher. But that was not the case. What’s more, had this been done it would have been rather predictable and mediocre. This way, we have a layered tale before us of a man who, at his core, “is similar to us, but better than us” (the definition of a tragic hero) and is cast in this hodgepodge of a world which is falling to pieces. Situated, not by accident, in Phenomenonpublic, a pseudo-country and a pseudo-democracy, Boris K. is a man whose life, identity, life circumstances, the world around him, all change faster than the statuses on social networks. Boris K. is “a 21^st century boy – everybody’s toy”, but, as the English would say, “nobody’s fool as well”. Speaking of dystopias, we must mention Winston Smith from Orwell’s “1984”. Paranoia and societal pressure exist, Oceania where Smith lives is nothing else but a microcosm in the same manner that Phenomenonpublic is. But, unlike Smith, Boris K. has places to go. Nobody is stopping him. His freedom of choice is, at first glance, absolute. But every so often a self-appointed tribune of the plebs a la Megaimportanceshire can appear who will ruin his good fortune. Let’s not forget: there is a strong satirical lining within these stories, predominantly taking aim against liberal capitalism, kleptarchy, corporations, xenophobia, and prejudices of all kinds. And, of course, what the Phenomenonpublicans love most is to wail for their deceased to whom they attribute traits which, during their lifetime, they had not seen. The living are friable – the dead are indestructible. Sound familiar? It should.

LOOK BACK IN LAUGHTER

Exaggeration, some would say, a baroque approach to the subject matter, others would say, neither should be viewed as a fault. Quite the contrary! Let us remember that one of the greatest satirists, the Irish author Jonathan Swift, had used precisely exaggeration, and even extremely vulgar and gallows humor elements, to adorn Lemuel Gulliver’s wanderings. And this is not odd because it is exactly the grotesque, the banal, the dislocated that remains etched in one’s memory. And it is exactly this quality which exists in Leila Samarrai’s writing and represents the best quality of this collection next to an almost childlike playfulness, humaneness and a parent-like relationship towards the main character. Tales of the travels and troubles of Boris K. present, to the aforementioned imaginary average reader, a sizable challenge. They will try to read it via spacing, to skip, as is their practice with domestic bestseller books, a sentence or two and find themselves in a tight corner. However, if they focus, their efforts will be rewarded. What’s more, they’ll go back and pay attention to a covert joke or quip. They will perceive it either as a part of a bigger story or a standalone tale which does not need to belong to a wider context. Be that as it may, reading this interesting, Hamvasian book will pay off for them, as much as the sequel to Boris’ adventures which, from what I’ve heard, the authoress is bringing to a close.

Aleksandar Novaković

proza

The Walling of New Golgotha for Boris K.

Three blood brothers were building a city.
Three blood brothers, three PhantasmacGregors
The first king Hadjirespectful Pilate
The second was Swanson Testicules
The third the hideous Shaka Zulu
Three whole years they were building the city
Three whole years along three hundred builders:
An investor they could not commission
Let alone complete a single city:
What the builders build during the daylight
Gets wiped out at nighttime by this crisis.

prose

The remedies for mental illnesses: Dr Boris K.

Dr Boris K.Schizophrenia – It is strongly recommended to hire the actors to change into characters who live in a particular body.
Then the imaginary personas will be replaced by them. When that happens, the actors will leave, one by one, and schizophrenic, without the actors who play doubles, remains alone with himself. CURED.

Paranoia– It is higly recommended to hire a few people that will systematically monitor the paranoiac and he will believe someone is following him. The environment believes him, too. When the persecutors, who they are not, are arrested, then the paranoiac says to people: – They have been chasing me, but not anymore! I am happy now.
Then, he goes his way, completely non – paranoid.
CURED.

political-pictures-sigmund-freud-trust-doctor

image found here

Obsessive -compulsive – disorder – It is higly recommended to lock the compulsive patient with some disgusting people, anal volcanoes with accoustic asses who fart, poke their noses or even something more repulsive. He is so disgusted with them so he immediately gives up his obsession.

CURED.

Psychopathia – It is higly recommended to bring together five thousand people who will gladly offer themselves to a psychopath to torment them. He will experience such a shock that he would lose every desire to harass anybody, anymore.
CURED.

Exhibitionism – It is higly recommended for the exhibitionist to stand in front a mirror that makes his penis or female breasts to the microscopic size.
CURED within an hour.

proza, Uncategorized

Finally, Boris K. has his own FB page!

https://www.facebook.com/BorisK777/

i have decided to open Boris K. facebook page.
Everybody’s welcome there!

Hit a like, Jack! 🙂

video

“The Adventures Of Boris K.”, the book promotion with English subtitles, the second part

Thanks to Galina Italyanskaya, you can see the whole subtitled footage of my book promotion “The Adventures Of Boris K”. The speech about Boris K. continues.. I have to stress that this is the second partof the promotion, there is more, but I think this part is the most representative for my book, because I spoke a lot about Boris K. and other topics, too. you can be my online audience, if you wish.
Feel free to ask me whatever you want to know about my book.

Leila’s blog

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