leila, poetry, proza

LUCIFER’S BIRTHDAY WISH

An obscure curiosity. There was a power outage in my apartment after I wrote the last verse.

LUCIFER Costly is the music I write… CROSSES OUT WITH PEN
The bird I hath saved, then killed.. UH, NO.
To fly and to create is one NO GOOD, I HAVE NO TALENT.
Let me make a wish for my 40th birthday.
for my 40th birthday, I wish…[his eyes turn golden]
…to await the darkness with open eyes.

I no longer want to drink up my screams
like a heavy undefined heart shape
a sweetened saltiness of thirst akin to soot
resists in my baked mouth
While the hoof howled
I bit the day.

Palms sunk into the darkness of the armpits, 
claws are exposed to injuries, 
hooves touching the naked floor and pushing away. I am being born.

DOCTOR FAUST-Scalpel and kill the light during the babe’s Exodus onto the world…
SISTER ROSEMARY-Doctor, do not frighten the child…
-This is not a child.

DOCTOR FAUST-Madness aflame cannot feel shame…
SISTER ROSEMARY- But keep quiet
Shhhhhh 
The child can suddenly awaken in the dark
DOCTOR FAUST—A torchbearer? [manic laughter]

I went out into the dampness, in the rain, amid the stench. 
in blood, out of blood, hatred, fertility, nerves…

LUCIFER’S SHADE come come into the darkness…

LUCIFER’S PERSONA Do not even jest with the curse for I fear the dark.
There, merciful lady have mercy on my dishonoured self, far away your Heaven be

A trampled flower upon the midden I

A devil with a pitiful weakness…
a flaming storming tempest
light abandoned by fog
a moment’s thought
charm of a dewy garden
a smiling morning star with a foil
between the fingers
celebrating the fortieth victory
in unending silence
in the merry dawn of October

For I grew as strong as Samson when I heard
that my will shall be granted
for I made a flawless pact
but will not disclose what I gave up in return

A FIELD FLOWER PICKER EARLY IN THE MORNING tell me monster what glimmers in your eyes
LUCIFER it is a threat of living
me, disguised in man’s clothing, looking like this…
I shall outlive the darkness
but will no longer drink up my screams in darkness…

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proza

The scream of butterflies, edited version

The scream of butterflies 

It is like a desert where time isn’t told by clocks
it is like the crevice for the jailer to peer into a cell
it is why the birds, to me, have no name
it is the cause of my timid disruptions
it is the cause of my fallen kingdoms
It is not a creature known to human heart
that remains unmentioned amid my words.
SERBIA.

in this land that is not even my own
in this land where proud Palm Readers tell fortunes
(I might say that Serbia is a witchly soil
but there is no magic inside it)

Can I even be alive?
within the poem that screams while singing

(a witchly silence)
me, a flower studded in silence

If I have to die here
leave me to open up in silence
I, a strained water
I, a chained tree
I, a shepherdess in the witch forest
I, the mutes well of
a dying swath or mad, screaming butterflies
yes…

Bitterness? Or purity?
deceptive ventures
and useless experience
you have set in stone my human loneliness

Let us out of here, miss S! ..!!!! (scream of butterflies)
let us fly through
your sullen azure arch
In return,
we’ll celebrate you as a jailer
on the 25thanniversary of your hammer – existence, scavenger
we will glorify you, we… we, the winged corpses in the pit.

This night of torture
this dawn of tamed passion
this heartbreak soil.

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poezija

Scream and Whisper, Leila Samarrai

THE_SCREAM_by_CalvinHollywood

image found here

May the screams echo. After that
The silence will stumble like a whipped wild horse;
A moment pilled inside the throat
Overpowers the yowl and endless wind
That whimpers down the roads of land we are condemned to
In a deaf room, in a deaf night, by deaf ears
The scream in my throat is anchored
To the howling whisper.

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